Couples and Relationship Therapy
Build a relationship that works for everyone in it.
Relationships can become stuck in patterns that feel nearly impossible to change. The same arguments happen again and again. Conversations escalate quickly—or stop happening altogether. Partners may feel misunderstood, disconnected, resentful, or unsure how to move forward.
At BonaVita Psychology, we provide active, evidence-based relationship therapy designed to help partners understand the patterns underlying their difficulties and develop more effective ways of responding to one another.
Our approach is grounded in Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT) and incorporates principles and strategies from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) allowing us to tailor treatment to the needs and structure of each relationship.
Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT)
IBCT is an evidence-based approach to relationship therapy that focuses on both acceptance and change.
Rather than simply teaching partners to communicate differently, IBCT helps people understand why they repeatedly become caught in the same painful patterns—including the differences, vulnerabilities, emotional responses, and circumstances that keep those patterns going.
Treatment helps partners develop greater understanding and acceptance of one another while also identifying behaviors that can meaningfully change.
The goal isn't to eliminate every disagreement. It's to help partners respond to differences with greater flexibility, compassion, and effectiveness—and create new patterns that support connection rather than reinforce conflict.
Some relationships need more than traditional communication strategies.
When emotions escalate quickly, partners may know how they want to communicate but find those skills difficult to access in the moments that matter most. Arguments may become intense or prolonged, small interactions can trigger larger conflicts, and attempts to resolve problems may inadvertently make them worse.
Our expertise in DBT and CBT allows us to work directly with the emotional and behavioral processes that can drive these high-conflict patterns.
For relationships experiencing significant emotion dysregulation or recurrent high-intensity conflict, treatment may incorporate DBT-based couples interventions developed by Alan Fruzzetti, PhD. This approach applies principles of DBT to intimate relationships, with particular attention to emotion regulation, validation, accurate expression, and reducing patterns of emotional escalation and invalidation.
Treatment may also incorporate strategies from Sage, a CBT-based couples treatment developed by Skye Fitzpatrick, PhD, and colleagues specifically for relationships in which a partner experiences borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Specialized Treatment for High-Conflict Relationships
Together, these behavioral approaches can help partners learn to:
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Recognize escalation patterns before they become overwhelming
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Understand the vulnerabilities and triggers underlying conflict
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Regulate intense emotions during difficult interactions
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Reduce behaviors that inadvertently intensify or prolong conflict
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Communicate wants, needs, and boundaries more effectively
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Increase validation and understanding, even during disagreement
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Tolerate distress without immediately reacting, attacking, or withdrawing
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Recover and repair more effectively following conflict
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Strengthen positive interactions, connection, and trust
For relationships affected by significant emotion dysregulation or BPD, treatment also considers the ways that intense emotions, sensitivity to rejection or abandonment, impulsivity, and difficulties with trust or interpersonal stability can affect individual partners as well as the relationship system as a whole.
Therapy is active and structured. When problematic patterns emerge, we work together to understand them and practice responding differently—not simply talk about what happened during the week.
What We Can Work On
An Inclusive Approach
to Relationships
People seek relationship therapy for many different reasons. Your relationship does not need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. We work with partners experiencing concerns such as recurring or escalating conflict, communication difficulties, emotional disconnection, emotion dysregulation, difficulty navigating differences, major life transitions, parenting and family stress, intimacy concerns, trust ruptures, and patterns of pursuing and withdrawing. We also work with partners who have strong relationships and want to understand one another better, strengthen their connection, or navigate a particular transition more intentionally.
We welcome couples, polycules, and partners across relationship structures, as well as people across sexual orientations and gender identities.
We recognize that there is no single way a healthy relationship needs to look. Therapy is guided by the needs, values, agreements, and goals of the people within the relationship rather than assumptions about gender roles, monogamy, marriage, or family structure.
Our approach also recognizes that relationships do not exist in a vacuum. Identity, culture, family experiences, minority stress, and the broader systems in which partners live can shape relationship dynamics and are incorporated into treatment when relevant.
What To Expect
Relationship therapy begins with a comprehensive assessment process, typically completed over four sessions. This allows us to develop a thorough understanding of the relationship, including its strengths, current challenges, important history, and the patterns that tend to emerge among partners.
The assessment typically includes:
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Session 1: Relationship Assessment — Partners attend together to discuss the relationship, current concerns, goals for therapy, and relevant relationship history.
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Sessions 2 & 3 (or more): Individual Assessments — Partners meet individually with the therapist, providing an opportunity to discuss individual history, experiences, and perspectives that may be important to understanding the relationship. For relationships involving more than two partners, the assessment structure may be adjusted to ensure that each participating partner has an opportunity for an individual assessment.
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Final Assessment Session: Feedback & Treatment Planning — Partners and the therapist meet together to discuss the results of the assessment. Your therapist will share their understanding of the relationship and its patterns, identify factors that may be contributing to current difficulties, and provide individualized treatment recommendations. Together, we will establish goals and a plan for moving forward.
Following the assessment, sessions are collaborative, active, and focused on change. Your therapist will help you slow down difficult interactions, recognize patterns as they occur, practice new responses, and apply what you're learning outside of therapy.
Our goal is not to determine who is right. It is to develop a shared understanding of what happens within the relationship—and help everyone involved build the skills and create the changes needed for healthier, more connected relationships.
Ready to Get Started?
If you and your partner or partners are interested in relationship therapy at BonaVita Psychology, contact us to learn more about our approach, availability, and whether we may be a good fit for your needs.